There's Always A Bitch Who Tryna Fuck Up My Love Story! - Part II

"What's her fucking problem?" I muttered to myself when I see her message on Honey Lips' Facebook wall.  "Ain't she got nothing better to do?"

I reached home, tired.  A shower later, I was in bed, with the laptop on, checking out Facebook for the latest "news".  I usually look up Honey Lips profile page just to see what he's been up to.  And what with Facebook new you-can-now-see-what-the-other-has-written-on-x-wall-feature, you can't hide.  (Thank you Mark! Or, whoever you stole the idea from!)

Anydamnway, there's this self-proclaimed classy bitch who, I believe, is just a bloody pain in the arse.  In my arse, to be precise.

"Hi babes! Wassup?", Honey Lips answered my call with enthusiasm.  My heart flipped.

I'm going to burst your bubble mister.  That's what's up!

And out loud came, "What the fuck is wrong with that friend of yours?".  I gritted my teeth.  "Why she keeps like-ing every damn thing you post on Facebook?"

"What?!", Honey Lips bemusedly exclaimed.

"Fucking Miss I-Shit-Gold, that's who!", I impatiently explained.

"Oh God Johanna, not Facebook again! How many times will I tell you Miss I-Shit-Gold and I are good friends.  Nothing more!" His bubble is well burst up now.

I harrumphed.  "No shit.  Then why she's acting like she your damn wife? Bloody disrespecting me on Facebook and you ain't saying nothin'! What's with all the lovey-dovey messages?"

"Johana! Johana! Johana! Stop!", HL shouted.

"Why? Tell I-Shit-Gold to stop!", I interrupted.

"For fuck sake -", he cut the call.

HE BLOODY HANG UP!

Oh no, you didn't. Hell no!

"Lover Boo, you there?" I typed on GTalk. You remember her, right? :p

"Yes! How are you?, LB replied.

"I'm so fucking pissed!" And I went on spilling my woes to Lover Boo.

"Ignore her!", LB typed.

"No fucking way.  Saying i love you hun, miss you hun on my husband's wall? You're crazy.  I'm gon write something on her post.  Bloody bitch!"

I tried to control my anger and after a few, deep breaths, I decided I'd act like a lady and try to be nice and see if Miss I-Shit-Gold follows my lead.

Whadayyano?  I-Shit-Gold insulted me.  Again.  Doesn't she know Honey Lips is married? She should 'cause his relationship status clearly indicates he's bloody taken.


Honey Lips reached home.  Saw the comments exchange between Miss I-Shit-Gold and I and he deleted them.  Called me and said, "I don't want no drama on my wall.  She's just a friend and there's nothing more going on between us.  Fucking shit gotta stop."

"Hell yes! Shit gotta stop and if you ain't stopping it I bloody will", I retorted.  "How would you like it if a guy friend of mine keeps posting on my Facebook wall, "I love you" and bloody blah blah? And I tried to be nice but she just wouldn't take the hint!"

Over the following days, she kept posting crap on Honey Lips' wall.  Both Honey Lips and I ignored her.  Then all hell broke loose when Honey Lips tagged me in a YouTube clip.

MISG commented, "You've forgotten all about me!"  Her stalking became worse after that.  She'd especially post something just after I did.

And then Honey Lips realised that indeed MISG is a fucking jealous trollop! Hallelujah! But the more you provoke HL, the more he'll ignore you.  It's infuriating but he gotta do something! Right? No.  He didn't.  And MISG continues on with her 'live life good' mantra.  From time to time, she would mention how she and HL have been friends for more than 20-something years and that their friendship is a forever thing.  Nobody will stop her showing love to her friends.

Lover Boo intervened with a goaded comment one day and MISG had the guts to insult her too!

Did I mention that Lover Boo and Honey Lips are real tight buddies?  No?  Well, they are.  MISG may have known HL for a long time but they haven't seen or met each other in eons.  Not that it really means anything in friendship but MISG is overplaying the we-are-old-friends factor.  I let her know that I'm glad she's an old friend of my husband but stay in your boundaries, will ya? She says she won't! And fed me crap like, she's a free-spirited soul, who believes in showing love to her friends and yaddi yadda...not to mention that she's a lady of class and her lineage is out of this world. (Insert eye rolls here please.  Thank you!)  She presumes that her public affection to a married man, albeit a friend, is not disrespectful at all.  Say what?!

Her last comment on HL's wall left me staggering. Why should I keep on feeding her already-massive ego?  Like Lover Boo said, the more I react to MISG's BS, the more she'll try to whip out non-existent demons.

Ain't no one gon fuck my love story! I'm the leading lady.  Heck! I'm the ONLY lady.

End of discussion.

Merry Christmas to you too!

I'm Awesome!

Oh fuck schmuck!

Have you checked out my Facebook Fan page? No?  Check it out and become a fan.  Click on the Wibiya toolbar below and click on the Like button.

Have you noticed anything?  The landing page of my Fan page has been re-vamped! It's a new trick I've learned on a website where it briefly explains how to create your own landing page! If you're interested in having one of your own, email me!

Last week, I helped Kanwal with her blog layout.  See here.  I won't mind doing yours.  Yes, you heard right.  If you're not totally satisfied with your current Blogger theme buzz me! Generous Me will help you.  Plus, you don't have to pay me a single dime! Ain't that rad? ;p

OK.  So now that's out of the way, let me wish you all a Happy Tuesday!It's one day away from Hump Day!

All's Not Well Because It Won't End Well!

Today started out great.

Woke up, found Honey Lips at his usual spot - in front of his desktop, Facebooking -, greeted him with a "Good morning!".  Usually, he comes to wake me up but I got up early today. 

Had breakfast.  Toasts and tea.  Cleaned whatever needed to be clean.  Then we sat down in front of the TV. 

"What are you cooking for lunch today?", he asked me.

"What are YOU cooking for me today? It's Mother's Day.  I'm supposed to be doing nothing at all today.  You're supposed to treat me like a princess today", I demanded. 

Well I'm not a mother.  Miscarried twice.  But still, he wished me Happy Mother's Day! He might as well treat me like a queen today! Right?

Silence. 

We turned our attention back to the TV.  Minutes later,

"You put the chicken out to defrost.  What are you making for lunch?", he broke the silence. 

"I'm not cooking", I mutinously repeated. 

And then the fight started.  (I don't exactly remember how (or why) it all began but it sure as hell did.)

FYI
In my relationship there are two types of fights.  The one where we throw stuff (not at each other) to show how angry we are and the one where we add insult to injury.  There used to be three types of fights - throwing stuff, trading insults and the silent treatment.  After we moved in together, it was mostly the fuck-you-type of arguments, with the occasional breaking of inanimate objects thrown in for good measure.  Fuck schmuck! The latter proved to be an expensive 'hobby'! So it was back to exploring the English Language.  Until today. 

The cold shoulder bitch is back.  Honey Lips finally made his way to the kitchen, cooked us a meal, served himself (when we fight I don't feed him so that's his revenge),  and totally ignoring me.  He went back to his desktop and started playing love songs.  The lamenting-type of love songs! (Thank you YouTube!)

So I grabbed my laptop too and opened up Facebook.  My newsfeed shows that he dedicated a song to me - Lost in your eyes by Debbie Gibson.  In return, I sent him the song Perfect by Hedley.  The message is in the chorus. 

And guess what?  We're still not talking to each other!

Crap!