Now What Should This Title Be?

I nervously look at him.

He's smiling. Oh! He's good-looking.  He's got that joie de vivre je-ne-sais-quoi about him.

However beguiling his smile is, fear fused with excitement grips my heart.  Please let this go down smoothly.  Please God!

"So, talk to me...", he confidently and reassuringly says.

I begin to talk and in between, he interrupts me with impertinent questions.  I unconsciously touch my burning cheeks.  Nothing really shocks me but somehow his probing into my private matter does.

"You look so nervous.  I'm sure it's not the first time you...", he teases when I cut him off.

"No, actually it's my third time..."

"For how long you've been married?", he asks and I answer.

"Relax, it'll be over soon", and somehow that sentence didn't reassure me at all.

"Take off your pants and lie down", he orders me.  Oh my!

I feel queasy.  I look around.  I swallow hard.  I try to breathe.  In and out.  In and out...

I hope he won't unceremoniously chuck it inside me like it happened the first time!

I take off my pants, lie down and wait for him.  He nears me and says, "Make sure you take the pills, otherwise I won't be able to help you."

I nod.  Please do whatever you gotta do quickly!

I shut my eyes tightly and send a tiny prayer to the Almighty.  Then I feel this cold thing on my belly.

Oh! He won't get his fingers inside me then! What a relief! 

I try to peek at the monitor while he moves the transducer all over my lower belly.  I can't see anything!

"All clear.  No infections.  No cysts.  You have a normal size uterus. I'll put you on a programme and let's see how soon we can get you a baby," he finally resolves.

I let out a sigh of relief.  Thank God!  I thought my uterus was kidnapped by cysts! Now all I gotta do is to seriously quit smoking and put my womb to good use!

I want that baby, dammit!

P.S: I'm back on Blogger.  Yes, I know I suck but hey I miss you guys over at Tumblr! It's not the same without y'all! :(  Now give me a hug!! ;p

Moved to Tumblr!

I'm keeping this blog open too!

Mainly, I'll blog on Tumblr.  Got a new job and I don't really have time to do pretty much anything else but work.

As it's easier to post on Tumblr - especially when you're at work! -, I'll do my best to update it as often as I can!

So why don't you head over to Oh, The Things You'll Read and subscribe?! ;p

Dirty Verses I Copied

...from a book Honey Lips bought when we were still living in London...

There was a young lady from Leith

Who would circumcise men with her teeth

It wasn't for fame,

Or love of the game

But to get at the cheese underneath.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young actress from Crewe,

Who remarked, as the vicar withdrew,

"The Bishop was quicker

And thicker and slicker,

And two inches longer than you."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young vampire called Mabel,

Whose periods were always quite stable,

At every full moon

She took out a spoon,

And drank herself under the table.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young plumber from Lee,

Who was plumbing his girl with glee,

She said stop your pumbling,

I think someone's coming,

Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A kinky young girl from Coleshill,

Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,

They found her vagina,

In North Carolina,

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young man from Pitlochrie,

Making love to his girl in the rock'ry,

She said, "Look you've cum,

All over my bum,

This isn't a shag, it's a mock'ry."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young lassie from Morton,

Who had one long tit and one short 'un,

On top of all that,

A great hairy twat,

And a fart like a sixty-five Norton.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

THE.  END.

P.S: My blogger is acting up.  I can't leave comments.  Will catch up on that tomorrow! ;p
P.P.S: I created a Tumblr account today.  Come over at http://johanah.tumblr.com and have a peep! ;p