Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The String Theory

"You know what?", I hesitantly asked Honey Lips.

"What?", he muttered, while watching Prison Break Season 1 all over again.

"I think a Eureka! moment", said I, still baffled at the realization.

"Tell me", he looked up at me.

"You know yesterday, I wore a thong and...", I started.

"Hold up.  Let me pause Prison Break", he fumbled on the keyboard and said, "Yes, tell me...".

"As you know, I haven't worn a thong in a while, right?..", I tried to explain when he interrupted me, with his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Almost.

"You know I love it when you wear thongs and I have to beg you sometimes."

Honey Lips' tolo perks up every time at the sight of my bare ass-cheeks, with a piece of thread in between.  It always works sister.  I'm telling you.

"Yes.  But you know because of my heavy bleeding which lasts for weeks, I have to wear granny panties and sometimes boxer panties.  After a while, you get used to it.  They are so comfy as compared to strings, you know it.  I explained that to you so many times.  Anyway, I put on one yesterday and bejaysus, I can't stop going to the toilet.  It's like that single piece of thread tickles my crack and I have to poop!",  I ended with a nervous laugh.  

Honey Lips started laughing! 

"It's like the thong massages my constipated crack and you know how many times I've been to the toilet already?", I continued.  

"That's good then, isn't it?", Honey Lips grinned.

"Good for my bowel movement and for your libido, you mean!", I teased.

"You know it hun.  See, if you'll only listen to me..."

O.M.G peeps, I'm not making it up.  When I came back home, in the first few days, I had a regular poop pattern and then, after hoovering down local food and delicacies, it was like my crack got sewn up!  And now this discovery!  I'm baffled.

Bye-bye boxer panties - well until after my painful menses come back.  And hi to you, sexy thongs!  ;p


Harley said...

Thongs are just so-o-o uncomfortable. Hand me my sexy panties anyday!

Barbara said...

Weird! I'll have to keep that in mind when I have trouble haha

Christina In Wonderland said...

I've never been a big fan of thongs. Probably because fat girls just should not under any circumstances be seen in a thong. It's just seven levels of wrong.

the girl in stiletto said...

i'm never a fan of thongs. too uncomfortable for my liking :p

Jewels Diva® said...

It's bad enough when my normal undies go up my butt so why the hell would I want to wear a pair that's SUPPOSED to go up there.

I don't, sure it wasn't the food? Fibre makes you go alot, don't know about it being the rubbing effect. Just eat some fibrous food each day and see what happens. And yoga etc loosens the bowel up.

Andy said...

I come from a country in Central America, but I am currently studying in France.

When I am in France I oftenly wear thongs because, just as Honey Lips, my French boyfriend loves thongs. But also like you, I bleed for like a week/10 days each time I get my period. And those days, are of course granny panties/boxer panties days.

And now, being back to Central America for the summer (july-august, 2 months of long-distance relationship) has made me get used to comfy granny panties! I am returning to France in about 10 days, and now thanks to you, I am remembering it'll be thongs time soon ;)

Oh, and seeing my eating habits in France, I think it'll keep my thongs every day!

Danaconda said...

Why should people take Ex-Lax if they're constipated? Just put on a thong!

MKL said...

OMG, I missed these kind of sick humour hapy-go-lucky girl talking about poop and honey and lips :P Come back like that, you cracked me up like the thong cracked your ***** open :P

Skinny Dip said...


I wear thongs all the time and have never noticed that but.. um, I'm glad they worked in your favor! ;)

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