Monday, April 12, 2010

The Pimp And His Main Squeeze

First of all, let me apologise for the previous post.  I wrote it last night and this morning I woke up with guilt and shame, thinking of what you all must be thinking of me. 


I woke up just fine.  LOL.  I'm glad I'm putting my business out there.  But I thought at least one of you would come up and say, "Me too!"

So you've read the title and you must have said out loud, 'What now?'

Well this post is about The Pimp (Honey Lips's chum) and his Main Squeeze.  The Pimp is an alright guy, he's very good to me and is ready to defend my honor when bitches run their mouth.  Main Squeeze is a very nice woman, in her early 20s and extremely cautious when it comes to let a male into her heart.  Despite her misgivings, she fell for The Pimp.  They are going quite strong and The Pimp is serious about her.  Everything is fine in Mushy Land until last week when Honey Lips imparted a secret to my delicate ears. 

Apparently, The Pimp is a sleep-around type of guy.  He fancies anything with big boobies on a pair of legs, attached to a pair of butt cheeks and feels he must whip the Johnson out and into the Moist Haven at least once.   It's obvious he's madly in love with Main Squeeze but his roving eyes keep roving.

Over the last few weeks, Main Squeeze and I became good friends.  Every time she confides in me, my brain gets whacked up by guilt.  They have been fighting practically every day since Main Squeeze's been hearing stories.  Stories like "Your man is a man-whore", or "He sleeps around" or "Bitch I'll kill you if you don't stop seeing my man", etc.

The island we live on is pretty small and everyone knows almost everybody.  Any time you set foot out of your house, somebody will know and will pass on the information to someone.  After all, it's a big deal if you're drinking a beer and talking to a woman/man during the day when you're supposed to be doing something else.

So when I heard of The Pimp's notorious ways from Honey Lips - a trusted source since they hang out almost everyday -, my respect for The Pimp kinda plummeted.  If I didn't know Main Squeeze at all, I would have cared less or none at all.  But since she's a good friend of mine, I can't really be honest to her and that's worth losing sleep over.  On the other hand, if I say anything to her, everybody loses in one way or the other. (Plus HL strictly warned me not to get involved and never to get involved in other couples' relationships.) But I truly believe The Pimp really, really loves her. 

What I can't comprehend is why should one betray the ones one loves?  Why can't we fully respect each other?  For how long will he fuck around?  What happens when or if Main Squeeze finds out?  Will I lose another friend? Should I keep my distance from her?  Because I can't and won't say anything to her.  And that makes me feel like an asshole.

Go ahead.  Judge me.


undomestic chica said...

My friend was in this predicament (it really was a friend and not me) so she quit being friends with the girl. Then my friend found out that the girl had been talking shit and encouraging her bf to cheat on her so now they're not friends. I wouldn't recommend going that route.

If it were me, I probably wouldn't get involved and keep my distance for that very reason. If she's actually a good friend I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut.

Johana Hill said...

Last week she called me and was about to tell me something when her phone got cut off. Honey Lips told me that it's The Pimp who snatched the phone from her because he doesn't want her to tell me that they're fighting. Since then I haven't talked to her. I've seen her since but we couldn't talk. Both of them were angry because they had another row.

I wanted to call her but I stopped myself. I better keep my distance. :(

Brittney said...

Wait... I was going to talk about your post, but now that you just wrote that he snatched her phone from her- that's super weird! He has that much of a hold on her?

I think it's sad that you're in this position, was what I was going to say. But, then again- it isn't something that you want to get yourself all wrapped up into. I feel bad though! So hard!

Johana Hill said...

The snatching phone bit is Honey Lips' theory. I'm not sure if it's true but according to HL he knows men and he's 100% The Pimp disconnected the call.

Yes, it's very sad. If I were in this situation, I would like to be told, but as HL rightly said, everybody is different.

In the beginning Main Squeeze wasn't that much in love with The Pimp but The Pimp shows it to the whole wide world that he's in love with her and that, I think, won her over.

Jewels Diva® said...

Instead of coming straight out and telling her, which means you've betrayed your hubs, next time she starts talking about stories she's heard, tell her something like - "well there's always a grain of truth in things you hear",or,"well he did play around before you",or,"the island's small, I'm surprised you haven't heard the complete truth."

The point also is, and forget everything I just said, would you want your friend to tell you your hubs has done the dirty on you.

Fuck the whole keeping secrets shit, tell her because she has the right to know the man she thinks she loves is sticking his dick in someone else.

Nuke Girl said...

If you want my advice...

Refuse to get involved in The Pimp and Main Squeeze's relationship. If she's smart, she'll figure it out soon. If she's not, she'll learn the hard way.

If she finds out and confronts you about whether you knew or not, I'd tell her the truth. If she's really your friend, she might be mad for a while, but eventually she'll realize that you stayed out because it wasn't your business.

// krissy ♥ said...

"What I can't comprehend is why should one betray the ones one loves?"

That is also one of the questions I still haven't found an answer for :(

It is a really tough situation for you since you are caught in the middle. I, too, would not know what I will do if this happens to me. But if it's any help,if you were in Main Squeeze's shoes, would you rather find out from a friend or find it out yourself? Either way both hurts :(

Gnetch said...

You're definitely in a very difficult situation. I wouldn't know what to do either. But maybe HL is right, that you shouldn't get involved. What ever The Pimp is doing is out of your control anyway. Just be there for Main Squeeze at the time she finds out because she definitely would need a friend like you.

Magpie said...

"Hello Rock, meet Hard Place. We three are gonna be getting very cosy for a while..."

This is a horrible situation. I know that when I was Main Squeeze, after it all went down and I dumped my Pimp and that... I found out one or two of my friends had known and it was like a double betrayal (triple, really because of how it went down, but that's another story). They claimed that they couldn't tell me because it was none of their business, but I just saw them being cowardly and not respecting me enough to let me know. It was painful.

I'm not really friends with them anymore.

I don't really know what you can do here. From personal experience I'd urge you to tell her if you consider her a friend, but... every situation's different, I guess..

Rainey said...

I was transported here via 'No One Reads the Copy'.

You had me at your by-line, and hooked me with 'whip the Johnson out and into the Moist Haven'.

Nothing's ever my fault either. I'd hate to see us get into an argument. Let's be friends?

Kanwalful said...

I've been in a similar situation... My friend saw another friend's husband with another woman in the car when he was not even supposed to be in that town that day! And the poor friend never knew about it... We told her, but she backed him up that he couldn't possibly be in town and what not. And even though this story is not even close to being as apparent on cheating as yours it made me cry because I can't understand either why someone would want to cheat on their wife. They'd much rather not marry at all then.

Johana Hill said...

Rainey Of course we'll be friends! ;p

I decided I wouldn't get involved. I almost forgot that HL broke the brothers' code and told me The Pimp's secret. If or when she finds out I'll cross that bridge then. Losing her friendship (if ever it comes to that) will pinch my heart. And what if despite me telling her, she still chooses to stay with The Pimp? That's a risk I'm not willing to take.

Honey Lips always tells me: Don't get involved when you know they share a bed. So yes, I'll keep my distance.

Thank you everyone for your lovely input and for sharing your own experiences. It meant a lot! ;p

OfficeGirl said...

It is hard to watch a friend walk through the fire without any knowledge. In my experience even if you told her the truth she wouldn't believe it and even if she did she would more than likely stay with him. It sad the way woman get clouded when they are in love and hoping that the man will change.
She will get through this eventually. It will just be in her own time.

BTW: Loved your last post! It was hilarious!

Lady Mel said...

Nonsense! :) The Pimp and Main Squeeze are just pet names you give yourself and Honey Lips.

Hehe. Jk. Anyway, I think Main Squeeze should have the courage to leave The Pimp if he is too possessive and is indeed sleeping around. I am sad of hearing Maury Show-equese/Tiger Woods/Jesse James stories. Someone has to be respectful and honest. Who is going to step up the plate?

Johana Hill said...

Oh no LadyMel! Fortunately, Honey Lips is not The Pimp. Else, instead of blogging about it, I'd be packing my bags and jet! ;p

I don't think we can stop men from cheating. Or women for that matter. It's an age-old issue. Sadly.

AuntBT said...

I would set up your friend to catch the jerk off in the act. Seriously.

Lady Mel said...

Yeah I know, Johanna. We are truly animals dressed up in clothes.

S.I.F. said...

I've been in this same situation with one of my best friends and I didn't tell her until almost two years after they actually ended things. The only reason I told her then was because she was saying she didn't think he had ever cheated on her and I couldn't take it anymore.

You know what though? She totally understood. I was so upset and was sure she was going to hate me, but she got it.

Sometimes you just really can't get in the middle of other people's relationships. No matter how vile they are being.

And some men are just like this. I don't get it, it makes no sense to me, and it makes me punch them; but I truly believe that some men can be head over heels in love and still cheat. It's not that they aren't in love, it's that they are too selfish to protect the one they love from pain.

One of my best guy friends is like this and he is an amazing guys in 100 different ways, but in that one way - he kills me to watch.

Crazy Brunette said...

I hate to break this to you lady, he doesn't fucking love her.

Maybe he loves her, but isn't IN love with her.

If you are IN love you do not cheat.

Now if you are bound by law and a goddamn piece of paper to a guy you love but are IN love with someone else, that's when you're fucked.

Such! said...

Whats to judge?!
This is plain sad.

Andhari said...

This is really sad. I wouldn't wanna get in the way but I think if I were you, I would've accidentally slipped it somehow and made sure it can't be traced back to me. Poor girl. I can't believe guys like that and their selfish thinkingwithpenis ways.

Susie Q said...

You know what, I was in this situation a while back. Because I've been with a cheating partner and knew I'd like to know, I told the girl. And I haven't regretted it to this day. She's still with her man and they're happier than ever; he's stopped messing about and my friendship with her has grown even stronger. Although I did consider myself to be really good friends with her before any of this happened.

I think you've made the right choice in not getting involved. What goes on between a couple should stay between the couple. And whereas I was happy to tell my friend of her man's cheating ways, that'll always overshadow our discussions about their life.. She'll find out eventually if she hasn't already and you can just say "well, it wasn't up to me"..

The other option would be to go to the man and hint that people are talking.


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