Monday, May 31, 2010

Bloggerstock: What Is Your Theme Song?

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Hi my beautiful people!  Today is the day I introduce you to the beautiful Jessica over at Cerebral Lunch Box!  A creative writer as well as an amateur photographer, she gracefully shares her journey with us.  And entertained you will be.  Jessica deserves some blognition.  Don't believe me? Check out her blog!

You ask why am I introducing Jessica to you all?

Well, remember Bloggerstock? The blog-swap thingy?  You want the deets you say? Okay.  Read below where Jessica thankfully explained the beauty behind the concept of Bloggerstock.  And also, find out what's her theme song!

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Before I begin, I want to give some background on what Bloggerstock is and why I've hijacked Johana's blog. I found out about Bloggerstock through 20sb.net (a great place for a beginning blogger, btw). Basically it's blog-swapping but on a big scale.  It introduces you to tons of great blogs out there, some of which you would miss in the vastness of the net.  If you want some exposure as well as some new things for your feed, check it out!

I was really pumped about the whole Bloggerstock thing until I got the theme for this month, actually.  What is my theme song?  Really, I have to pick just one?  Music's always been a huge part of my life, and I have a soundtrack running in my head almost constantly.

I've actually set up my Pandora account so I have several stations to reflect any particular mood I'm in at the time.  The task of choosing only one piece of music seemed daunting at best and impossible at worst.

So I started thinking, maybe something classical to show my deep and esoteric nature?  Nah, too pretentious. Something light and pop-y to show that I'm not as old as I sometimes feel? Who am I kidding? A song by a strong female artist, demonstrating my feminist tendencies? Most of the time I'm disgusted with what passes for feminism now a days.

So what to do?

It may seem like a downer, but I decided to focus on my disappointments and disillusionment for my theme song.  I chose Frank Turner's "Love Ire and Song".





I'm sure I'm not the only one in the blogosphere that feels pretty disgusted by the way the world is going to shit right now.  And it's not just society as a whole.  Not just the good ol' boys in power, the jerks on Fox News, or the smugness of the new guard.  Let's face it, politicians (and what passes for journalists today) are crooked and always will be.  It's not just the ones in power.

It's us, too.  It's me, too.

There's too much wrong in the world that I'm willing to let go by and not do anything about. Sure, I'm concerned with the plight of women in the fundamentalist Muslim world, but have I ever done anything about it, other than describe the injustice to half-interested acquaintances?

World hunger's an issue, more now than possibly ever, but have I actually sent a check to the Heifer foundation, like I've said I'm going to do for the past three years?

In my personal life, I've become complacent, too.  For years I've wanted to become a writer, write something that would at least give others enjoyment.  I don't actually think I'm talented enough to write the Next Great American Novel.  But what does it take to get me up off of my ass?  Moving to a new city and losing my mom.  I finally had a wake-up call I couldn't ignore anymore.

To me that's what "Love Ire and Song" is all about.  Looking around and realizing what a hole we've dug for ourselves, but somehow finding a way to get a moment of glory out of what we have left.  It may not make history (although it's kinda cool to think of my glorious martyrdom celebrated in a national parade), but at least you're doing something.

So come on (and in the words of Frank Turner) "let's be young, let's be crass enough to care. Let's refuse to live and learn, let's make all our mistakes again yes. And then darling, just for one day, we can fight and we can win. And if only for a little while, we could insist on the impossible."

I want to thank Bloggerstock and Johana for giving me the chance to share this wonderful song and my kind of rambling rant with you.  If you liked it, thanks!  If you didn't, don't hold it against Johana, fate was against her. :)

Check out Ethony's post about her theme song on my blog at http://cerebrallunchbox.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggerstock-what-is-your-theme-song.html!

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Thank you Jessica! Listened to the song and it's lovely!

And now to check out my theme song, head over to Sara Swears A  Lot!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Huzzah!

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The deadline for Bloggerstock is on the 31st of May 2010! And I'm still debating over theme songs! Yikes!  I was hoping by tonight I would send Sarah my post but oh Mother Saint! Well, I'll come up with something...

Anyway Happy Friday y'all...go out....drink...smoke...have loads of sex...or do whatever rocks your dinghy...just have fun, kthxbai!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Cooked Beef!

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Gnetch, if you're reading this during your lunch break, please close this page and come back after you finish eating! You're welcome...;p

I know I've been neglecting you, my awesome people.  I've missed you a lot.  I'm in 'deep thinking' at the moment.  Plus I need to find my theme song for the next Bloggerstock's installment series!(Help me if you can...Right now it's all about Chasing Pavements - a great song by Adele and my all-time favorite.)

Anyway, today I cooked beef! I'm not a great cook, and I hate cooking.  But, being loving and all, I decided to surprise Honey Lips.  (This blog title should have been The Perfect Wife! Ha!) He enjoyed it.  I must admit, my beef came out well done and juicy.  Our steak knives glided through the well-seasoned meat; it was that tender and soft! Sorta. On the side, I did rice and peas, and sliced cucumber salad.  Honey Lips loathes plain rice.   

"That's what a wife's supposed to do.  The husband works hard and comes home to hot food", Honey Lips mumbled in between chewing.

"Remember when I told you I hate cooking and no man will make me learn cooking? That was before we even started dating!", I pointed.

"So, what will happen to the kids when you become a professional?", Honey Lips, for the umpteenth time, asked.  (No kids yet but we're planning to.)

"Well you'll take care of them! You said so", I riposted.

"How you mean?", Honey Lips asked.

"You'll feed them! You promised!", I clarified.

He just nodded and the conversation ended right there.

And now I'm thinking, "Fuck schmuck! I should have drafted a Book of Rules before I appended my signature to his on the marriage certificate, and made him sign it. Tsk, tsk, tsk..."

P.S: Thanks to all of you for your kind words in the previous post! May God bless you! ;p

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I Spoke Too Soon But Haiku? Should Work.

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Have you read Magpie's I've Felt Better post? Well you better click on that link.  Anyway check out the comment I left on that post:


I got my wish! And I want to take it back!

I'm not going into details about my menstrual discomfort but good lord! it feels like there are 10 angry, macho footballers in my lower-belly, kicking the hell out!

So I jumped in bed, stayed there for almost 7 hours! And then I came upon a series of Haiku from the same book I got the Dirty Verses.  It's quite a long list (I've already watched that episode of NCIS - where Abby gets stalked!) so it's alright.  Now up to you to read till the end and laugh out loud! ;p

Let's start typing!

Apparently Sony's new portable PC comes complete with Haiku error messages designed to be more soothing to the frustrated Windows user.  For example:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You seek a Web site.
It cannot be located.
Countless more exist.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Chaos reigns within.
Stop, reflect and reboot.
Order shall return.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Aborted effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies.
So beautifully.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 With searching comes loss.
The presence of absence.
"June Sales.doc" not found.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao
Until you bring fresh toner.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Windows NT crashed.
The Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Three things are certain.
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 You step in the stream
But the water has moved on.
Page not found.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky.
But we never will.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Having been erased,
The document you are seeking 
Must now be retyped.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen.  Mind.  Both are blank.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
HAPPY WEEKEND! ;p

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Cheek Of Him!

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"Hey I see you clicking on some [insert some tongue-clacking here]  links", Honey Lips teased me while stepping out of the living room.

I'm on the porch, enjoying a cup of tea and Kiss cakes.  I know it's bad but I woke up hungry!  My laptop is on.  I need to check my Reader etc., and the first thing I do after my morning shower and tea is to read blogs and check mails. 

"What?", I asked.

He came to stand by me and put his hands on my shoulders.  So I hugged him. 

"Eating Kiss cakes in the morning huh?", he observed.

"What to do? My husband feeds me with 'em", I sarcastically replied.

"You think you can lose 25 pounds by tomorrow morning?", he queried.

"Hahahaha...", I merely laughed and held onto his protruding belly.

"Can YOU lose 10 pounds by tomorrow morning?", I asked.

He sucked the belly in and exclaimed, with all gusto, "Why mess with beauty?!"

Well I shouldn't be surprised really...after all, he kisses his own reflection any chance he gets!  The lack of confidence I bear makes up for his extravagant self-assurance! Balance is restored.  I think.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Dirty Verses I Copied

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...from a book Honey Lips bought when we were still living in London...

There was a young lady from Leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn't for fame,
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked, as the vicar withdrew,
"The Bishop was quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There was a young vampire called Mabel,
Whose periods were always quite stable,
At every full moon
She took out a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young plumber from Lee,
Who was plumbing his girl with glee,
She said stop your pumbling,
I think someone's coming,
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
In North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young man from Pitlochrie,
Making love to his girl in the rock'ry,
She said, "Look you've cum,
All over my bum,
This isn't a shag, it's a mock'ry."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a young lassie from Morton,
Who had one long tit and one short 'un,
On top of all that,
A great hairy twat,
And a fart like a sixty-five Norton.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

THE.  END.

P.S: My blogger is acting up.  I can't leave comments.  Will catch up on that tomorrow! ;p
P.P.S: I created a Tumblr account today.  Come over at http://johanah.tumblr.com and have a peep! ;p

Tuesday Blog Love

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This morning Honey Lips and I had a fight because of Facebook.  I won't go into details because I'm no longer angry at him and when I'm no longer angry I forget the reason we started fighting.  And he's being sweet, trying to apologize to me and all.  I'm still playing angry though, you know.  Because I want to spend the whole day in my bed today.  ;p

Anyway, I got two blogger awards today!! And I was tagged by the Lovely Violet!  So let's start with the tag.  I'm supposed to upload the 8th picture in the 8th folder from My Pictures.  And here goes...

I swear I didnt't cheat! This picture was taken by Honey Lips' cousin.  She was visiting us for the first time and well, let's say I wasn't a fan of hers.  (Will post about it one of these days...and yes! you guessed right! another drama queen!)

And here's the Blogger awards I received from Just B. and BadKidsGoodGrammar...


7 facts about me:
  1. I swallowed my own vomit once.  It was early morning, on the way to tuition, with an empty stomach.  The bus was crowded.  There was no way I could have let out the vomit, so I did the decent thing! 
  2. On my way home from work, I lost my left shoe! I was in the queue, waiting to get on the escalator when someone stepped on my left shoe.  I walked back home, with one friggin' shoe!
  3. Reached work very early once.  Was wearing a tight, mini skirt.  I was enjoying a cup of tea and custard creams when I had to get up to tell a client that we were not open yet.  I was by the door when my friends who were also there started to laugh! I was turning 'round to ask them, "What's funny?", when one of them rushed to me and whispered, "Your skirt! The back slit came undone! You need to go home!" Thank God I had on decent panties and black tights.
  4. Again, was at work.  Chitchatting with colleagues.  Suddenly I felt like somebody punched me in my stomach.  Then my inner thighs started to itch! Went to bathroom.  Found out I got my period.  And there was no way I could chuck a pad in between my lacy strings! You know it! Clock out and go home Missy!
  5. I'm a food junkie!
  6. I'm lazy.
  7. I'm not a woman...Ha! I gotcha there, didn't I? Well, I get turned on by women's boobies! There...I said it! 
I'm passing the madness on to:

Magpie
LiLu
Hater Shades
Leetid
Lady Mel
Kanwal
Carina
Gnetch
JennyMac
Andhari
Nuke Girl
Just B. (For the tagging! ;p)
Lovely Violet

Have a happy Tuesday my blogaritas!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Guest Post: Mind Your Own Business!

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 Today I have a guest post from Cute Furry Bitch.  There's not much to tell about her.  She's really a bitch.  She is furry.  And yes, she is cute. 

Well here she is...

Editor's Note: Excuse the crappy pictures. Blame it on the Blackberry. Click on the pictures if you want a larger view. 









Cute Furry Bitch's side-note:  Take it from me.  Mind your own business.  Else, you'll land in shit...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

And The Saga Continues...

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Warning:  This post is quite long but oh! so read-worthy!

I was standing by the window, looking at Honey Lips questioningly.

"Bring the duplicate keys for downstairs please", he asked.

I shrugged.  "Hold on, I'm coming up", he then added.

He went by his father to ask him for the duplicate keys for downstairs.  On his way down, Honey Lips excitedly said, "High Cock wants to get in but Stupid Girl locked the door from inside."

Now you remember High Cock and Stupid Girl, right my dearest darlings?  Remember how I told you that High Cock is renting the flat on the level below mine?  That flat belongs to my father in-law.  

I followed Honey Lips downstairs where he and High Cock were trying to get the door open.  I then heard, "Don't let him come inside!"

That was Stupid Girl shouting at her cousin who was with her in the flat.  High Cock angrily sat on the patio table and shaking his head.  "Wait for another 5-10 minutes and then you try again", Honey Lips whispered to High Cock.

Then he came to me and said, "Let's go on the ground floor."  Once on the ground floor, "What's happening?", I impatiently asked HL.

"Stupid Girl went to TV Woman and told her that High Cock rented a flat for her too!", Honey Lips explained.  "She went by TV Woman's house and caused a scene."

Now you're wondering who's TV Woman, huh?  Well she's another mistress of High Cock, who works for a local TV channel.  HC pays her rent (actually HC has 3 mistresses, plus the wife and have all of them in separate paid-for dwellings) and just bought her a car.  

"Then High Cock found out that Stupid Girl is not going to school. He gives her money everyday for traveling and food expenses.  He recently bought 700-dollar-worth of school books for her", Honey Lips told me.

We went back to the flat and Honey Lips and High Cock managed to get the door open.  HC went in and closed the door.

Then... 

CRASH! THUD! CRASH! CRASH! THUD! THUD! THUD! CLANG! BAM! THUD! CRASH!

We could hear High Cock beating SG and both of them cussing at each other.  It went on for about 30 minutes!

Suddenly High Cock left.  Sobbingly, Stupid Girl started swearing and every minute kept on slamming doors. Her aunt came and tried to appease her.  SG wouldn't hear any of it.  She kept on banging doors. 

Honey Lips called the aunt aside and warned her, "Tell her to stop banging the doors.  My father doesn't want this kind of drama in his place."  But SG wasn't listening to anyone and all she was saying was, "Tell HC I'll get crazy on his ass.  I'll kill him.  Go tell him that."

Aunty said, "Stupid Girl is still a child.  She's 16.  That's what HC gonna get from a child.  She doesn't know how lucky she is.  Her mother is poor and now a man is taking care of her and she had to go and mess it all up.  You know how many girls would kill for an opportunity like this? She needs to focus on her studies.  She has it easy."

Then The Maid piped in, "If a man is paying my bills I'll work harder.  I won't mess up like this!"  And on and on, The Maid and Aunty carried on while Honey Lips would occasionally add his two cents.  

OH.  MY. GOD.  Where are they from? This is an opportunity? Having a married man as your boyfriend is a freakin' opportunity? SG is poor, so what?  That doesn't excuse her promiscuity! Education is bloody free in this country.  You don't need a man to support your education.  Stupid Girl is an okayish-pretty girl to my standard.  She can find jobs and study simultaneously.  How many poor people managed/manage to get out of the rut without wrecking someone else's home?! And don't let me get started on High Cock! He's fucking a 16-year-old so he can't expect much from her, can he?  She's a friggin' child, who knows how to suck cock and open her legs but feels too ashamed to put on a school uniform.  Because she knows she'll get laughed at, not because she can't hang out with high-schoolers.  Bloody excuse if you ask me. Dang!

While the three of them were pouring out their opinions and SG viciously lashing her anger on the doors, I was screaming inside my head, "I'm a celebrity...Get me the fuck out of here! Fuck, I need a bloody cigarette!"

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm Awesome!

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Oh fuck schmuck!

Have you checked out my Facebook Fan page? No?  Check it out and become a fan.  Click on the Wibiya toolbar below and click on the Like button.

Have you noticed anything?  The landing page of my Fan page has been re-vamped! It's a new trick I've learned on a website where it briefly explains how to create your own landing page! If you're interested in having one of your own, email me!

Last week, I helped Kanwal with her blog layout.  See here.  I won't mind doing yours.  Yes, you heard right.  If you're not totally satisfied with your current Blogger theme buzz me! Generous Me will help you.  Plus, you don't have to pay me a single dime! Ain't that rad? ;p

OK.  So now that's out of the way, let me wish you all a Happy Tuesday!It's one day away from Hump Day!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

All's Not Well Because It Won't End Well!

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Today started out great.

Woke up, found Honey Lips at his usual spot - in front of his desktop, Facebooking -, greeted him with a "Good morning!".  Usually, he comes to wake me up but I got up early today. 

Had breakfast.  Toasts and tea.  Cleaned whatever needed to be clean.  Then we sat down in front of the TV. 

"What are you cooking for lunch today?", he asked me.

"What are YOU cooking for me today? It's Mother's Day.  I'm supposed to be doing nothing at all today.  You're supposed to treat me like a princess today", I demanded. 

Well I'm not a mother.  Miscarried twice.  But still, he wished me Happy Mother's Day! He might as well treat me like a queen today! Right?

Silence. 

We turned our attention back to the TV.  Minutes later,

"You put the chicken out to defrost.  What are you making for lunch?", he broke the silence. 

"I'm not cooking", I mutinously repeated. 

And then the fight started.  (I don't exactly remember how (or why) it all began but it sure as hell did.)

FYI
In my relationship there are two types of fights.  The one where we throw stuff (not at each other) to show how angry we are and the one where we add insult to injury.  There used to be three types of fights - throwing stuff, trading insults and the silent treatment.  After we moved in together, it was mostly the fuck-you-type of arguments, with the occasional breaking of inanimate objects thrown in for good measure.  Fuck schmuck! The latter proved to be an expensive 'hobby'! So it was back to exploring the English Language.  Until today. 

The cold shoulder bitch is back.  Honey Lips finally made his way to the kitchen, cooked us a meal, served himself (when we fight I don't feed him so that's his revenge),  and totally ignoring me.  He went back to his desktop and started playing love songs.  The lamenting-type of love songs! (Thank you YouTube!)

So I grabbed my laptop too and opened up Facebook.  My newsfeed shows that he dedicated a song to me - Lost in your eyes by Debbie Gibson.  In return, I sent him the song Perfect by Hedley.  The message is in the chorus. 

And guess what?  We're still not talking to each other!

Crap!

Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm A Very Busy Woman...

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This post is all about updates.  

Remember Main Squeeze?  I haven't heard from her in a long while.  The last time I saw her was when she brought her dad over to introduce him to Honey Lips and I.  That was in March, if my memory serves me right.  I've met The Pimp last week.  Saw him a couple of times before and always alone or in the company of friends.  Is he still with Main Squeeze? I'm not sure.

Treadmill Mouth went underground for a good portion of the last 2 months.  He then re-appeared 3 weeks ago.  I think he was hiding away, out of shame.  Because almost everyone caught him out on his gossip-y habits.  Honey Lips conveniently turns his head away or just leaves when Treadmill Mouth is around.  HL doesn't want to be associated with the likes of TM.

Attitude Boy became the father of a little girl last month.  His first baby mother and the twins are still in NY.  His attitude still sucks.  Pretty Woman went to the US and in her first week in the states, she already started applying for modelling jobs.  Facebook says she's reaching places.  I wish her all the best.

Flat Face and Horny Pants haven't left each other's bed as of yet.  God bless them.

Lover Boo is still pining for Virgin Boo.  Lover Boo wastes spends her time analyzing the unjustices of unrequited love while Virgin Boo is doing her best to keep things platonic.  It's no use talking to either one of them.

Stupid Girl should have been named Sucker Girl.  A couple of weeks ago, I caught her (not exactly caught her since she doesn't bother hiding the nasty habit) sucking her thumb! She sits on her balcony, sucking her thumb! Well good for her.  At least she's practising something! Sucking skills are very important if you want to succeed in life, right?  You don't know?  Ask Stupid Girl's mum.  I met her for the first time last week and I would be so right in believing that she condones her daughter's lifestyle.  As a matter of fact, SG's whole family knows of her affair with High Cock.  Talk about family support!

Anyway, let's get to the good news.

Honey Lips is still trying to be funny and cracking jokes left, right and center while The Mercurial Wife is being a bitch.  As always.


Side Note: Why are you skimming? Go click on the links and read the stories if you haven't already! There's a good girl. ;p

Thursday, May 6, 2010

In which I tell you how I'm so friggin' tired and I'm going to sleep...

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What?! I said I'm tired...of course you're staring at a blank space! Seesh...

Peace out...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This Title Is Best Left Blank...Ooops!

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"Oh look! Cows! I haven't seen cows in a while", I exclaimed.

"Mmm", Honey Lips noncommittally replied.

Picture this.  Honey Lips is driving and I'm in the passenger seat, taken in by the spectacular views. 

"Oh! Look at the ocean! It's beautiful!", I gleefully pointed to my right.

"Oh my god! Look at this! A pink house! Who in the world wants a pink house?", I cried out in disbelief.

"Where? Show me", Honey Lips let out.

 "There! It's so ugly!", I observed while reaching for my phone to take a snap.

You don't believe me? Look for yourself!

Want a close up? Here...


Yes ladies and gentlemen.  A Pink House.  It's still in construction mode.  Take another look...

I'm still baffled.  I want to know who in his/her right mind wants to live in a pink house! Maybe I'll ask Honey Lips to drive by the house again next month.  To check on the progress, you know.

Let me show you another picture to compensate for the atrocious pink house.

Now that's a beautiful sunset.  Don't y'all agree?

On to more beautiful things, I got 2 Beautiful Blogger Awards from Magpie and The Stepster! Thank you ladies.  I love awards.  I really do.  I'm feeling like Sandra Bullock right now! LOL  World Peace FTW! Ha!


The rules stipulate that I have to divulge 7 facts about myself.  Well I'm breaking the rules.  (It's fun.  You should try it too. ;p) Instead of writing facts about me, I kindly beg ask you to keep reading my blog.  Thank you. ;p

Now I'm tagging a few of my favorite bloggers who I think deserve this award.

Barbara, Krissy, Andhari, Lady Mel, Chinky Mel, Carina, Lindsay, Annika, Just B, Gnetch and Angela.  Have fun!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Interview Of The Fabulous Miss Unbeweavable!

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The much awaited blog interview is here! I was planning on writing a smashing introduction of this lady but after reading her answers, I think it'd be an understatement to even try.  I wouldn't bore you much with my ramblings, so without further ado, let's get to know Miss Lizzy Marie from It's Unbeweavable a bit more.  


1. Tell us 5 things about yourself that we, your blogger-fans, don't know.
Fans! Stop it. I'm YOUR fan! Ok...what ya'll don't know is tricky because I have a big mouth over on my piece of the interwebs...

1. I have a twin sister. 2. I'm half Colombian. 3. I am addicted to Gossip Girl, etc...but I will NEVER miss an episode of Law and Order SVU. 4. I have yet to meet a guy who can keep up with me sexually (this is not a challenge haha) 5. I am a little shy in person-until I get comfortable. Then I won't shut the hell up.

2. What is your philosophy towards life?
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin I live and breathe by this quote. Also I believe you get back what you put in to this life, and I believe in stumbling, and making mistakes and being a hot mess-and then learning from those moments. And moving on.

3.  Who or what inspire you to blog so beautifully?
Aw thank you!  I don't hold back when I blog.  I'm not afraid to go to the dark places...if anything, I like it-it brings them to the light, and they aren't so scary anymore.  Sometimes my posts might just be about lipgloss, but I blog how I talk, like all my readers are my friends.  Which, I believe they are. 

4.  How do you keep in touch with the latest fashion trends?
I think it's just like any other passion-if someone is super obsessed with technology, or sports for example..they know what's up at all times!  Fashion is a part of me-I went to a fashion college and have been working in the industry ever since.  I'm blessed to work in the industry that I love.  I also read a lot of magazines and way too many fashion blogs! :)

5.  How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
I don't count, but I would guess about 100 pairs. Eeek!

6.  If I unexpectedly come to your house right now, what would you feed me?
Ohhh I'd love it if you dropped by-anytime girl.  Well, I make really good french toast...or I can order a pizza like nobodys business!  But we'll definitely have some wine, regardless! And cheese. 

7.  What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
The very first thing I do is check my blackberry.  I get lot's of emails from Europe, etc that come in when I'm sleeping and I always feel like I'm missing something.  I need to chill-I'm working on it.

8.  If a movie is made about your life, what do you think should the movie title be?
Well..."It's Unbeweavable!" of course :)  That or, "WHERE'S THE WINE?" or "Smarter Than She Looks"

9.  Have you ever dated a black man? 
I have. He was/is a great guy and I think I'll always wish the timing had been different. AND SO HOT.

10.  What makes you angry?
Haters piss me off-it's just unnecessary.   Animal abuse. 

11.  What do you do with clothes you no longer wear?
I donate them to charity.

12.  What is your oldest memory you can recall?
I remember spending time with my Nana.  Mostly I remember how she smelled-Chanel No 5 and Coty powder. 

13.  Are you superstitious?
A little bit, and randomly. I think I would freak out if a black cat crossed in front of me.

14.  Are you a tampon-girl or a pad-girl?
I'm a tampon girl, for the most part.

15.  How many sex-toys do you own?
2

16.  How big is your bed?
A king.

17.  What makes you unique?
It's hard to say but I think my experiences...the traveling and living abroad, the crazy beautiful and sad relationships I've had with men, my experience in fashion.  And

18.  What's the first thing you'll save in a fire/earthquake?
My puppy!!! And then my blackberry! And my MAC. And and and I'm addicted to technology!

19.  Do you pray?
I absolutely pray. It's the one constant in my life.

20.  What was the last thing that made you laugh?
One of my best friends texting me that she found 2 cover girl compacts in her mans bathroom...and that she isn't afraid they belong to another girl...nope, even worse. She thinks he's wearing makeup.  It's been a really hard weekend for both of us, and for some reason, thinking about finding covergirl in my bf's medicine cabinet made me cry laughing.  It's the little things, and good friends that make me smile no matter what.


The Mercurial Wife's notes:  Wine and cheese? Sounds like a plan.  If ever I come to Cali I'll ding ya!  Thank you for the interview Elizabeth! You're a ROCKSTAR!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

He Says. I Blog.

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When I started writing this post, I thought I'd tell you how much I've grown to hate public holidays but then I realize I still like it.  It's true that every damn shop is closed; however the hush that seems to descend over the island is so welcoming.  Plus, there's no evil soul to bother me. 

Anyway, yesterday Honey Lips and I spent the day home, watching movies. 

I was lying on my back, straddling his waist, while he was sitting upright on the bed.

"Hey watch this! Phone sex.  You want some? Here you go", he flipped open his phone and began rubbing it on my upper thighs.

He then laughed and I joined in.

"That'll end up in your blog, eh?", he affirmed.

Now remember I told you that he knows nada about this anonymous blog? (I think I did.)  Well, it's been a few weeks since he found out.  I kinda got caught.  Fortunately, he wasn't bothered about the blog URL because I sat him down and explained to him how this online journal represents my private space just like his phone does his.  He understood.  But sometimes, he begs to read one or two posts here and there.  I half-heartedly surrender.  And then, there are other times, when I force him to read a post I feel was well-written (in my humble opinion).  *rolling eyes*

So every time he cracks a joke, he'll be like, "You're going to blog about it? See, without me, you won't have anything to write about.", (did I tell you that his ego doesn't fit the door?), or "Put that in your blog!" when we have a fight.  *let's have a marijuana minute of eye-rolls here*

As far as he's concerned, he provides me with blog material.  Which is true, sorta.  

The Abrupt End.


P.S: Happy Sunday! ;p