I nodded. Like an excited and slightly (more than) drunk puppy.
I was feeling light-headed and felt like no one is sexier than me. I'm THE sexiest! Everybody wants me. Everybody is looking at me. I'm having the time of my life.
It's weird how alcohol boosts your self-confidence and turn you into one of those women you hate when you are sober and sane.
We were at the All White Party in the 'burbs. Honey Lips decided to take me to the party since I've been sick. I'm still not 100% recovered but hey! any excuse to party I'm in!
I wasn't wearing anything white unless you count the white beads on my slippers. I was bloating. When you bloat you do NOT wear white. No matter how skinny you are. There are women who disregard that rule. If you're fat don't wear white. You'll look fatter. There. I said it. Yes. White makes you look FATTER!
50% of women in that bash were fat. And were wearing white. Boastfully showing off their fat rolls to whomever might care to stare. Like me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a size-zero chick. I'm fat as compared to the pictures you see on the magazines. But I make sure I try to camouflage my extra grease when I dress up. I neither hate fat people. Or thick, as some of you
Before I get bashed let me reiterate: I. AM. NOT. HATING. ON. FAT. PEOPLE.
So yes, I was enjoying myself so much. Then it was time to go home.
The following morning, I woke up quite late. Honey Lips was already up and telling his friend about last night.
And I hear, "Johana did the dawg and the 10 puppies..."
Huh?! What?! What did I do? Was I that drunk? I remember every damn thing but me doing the dawwg and the 10 puppies...
I questioningly looked at him and he motioned to me to hold on.
Hanging up, then he explained, "That's the new lingo me and X (his friend) came up with."
"But what the hell does it mean?", I queried, confused.
"Did I really do the dog?", I added, alarmed.
He broke up in laughter (must have been the comical expression I had on my face) and clarified, "It means when you enjoyed the most. You had fun more than anybody else. You outdid everyone else. Or like an underdog."
"You were in your element last night. I've never seen you danced like that. Awww come here...", he further added, extending his arms to hug me.
And there I was, thinking:
"Poor thing, he doesn't know how reckless I can get when I suck on alcohol. Especially Hennessy...Or maybe he does know. Oh yes he knows how I uninhibitedly behave when I'm all super lush! Maybe he was jealous because usually he gets to do the dog and all the 10 puppies! That's why he doesn't let me drink more than 2 glasses when we're out...selfish bastard...wanting the dogs all for himself..."