Thursday, April 15, 2010

Are You Joking Me?

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Was my previous post that raunchy?  I don't think so.  I mean I wrote it during the day while eating KFC! 

Anyway, Honey Lips and I were spending Tuesday afternoon together when he decided to go wash his car.  AGAIN. 

"You're gonna wash your car again?", I asked.

"Hmmm...the rims are dirty.  I need to wash them because I don't want them stained", he answered.

"You know I've never seen gold rims before...do they even exist?", I queried.

"Yes.  Back in the days, I had them on my blue Merc", he bragged.

"Blue Merc? Yucky!  It must have been ugly!", I observed.

"Oh no! My car was the shizzle.  Girls used to go wild when they saw me in the blue Merc with the gold rims.  They went crazy when they saw me", Honey Lips exaggerated.

"Yeah right! I wonder why...", I scorned.

"Why were girls going crazy and shouting me? Well because they discovered I was Victoria's secret! You didn't know that, did you?  I'm Victoria's secret!!  I'm the shizzle baby..."

I really hate him when he gloats and/or exaggerates. 

One day in London...

HL and I were in his car, driving home.  It started to drizzle.  We were having a light conversation when we passed by this pretty woman, pushing a pram on the sidewalk.

"Hey! Where are you going with my baby in the rain?  Take him home! I'm coming...", he shouted at the startled woman.

And the woman began to laugh! You know those throaty laughs women throw at men?  Yes, those ones!  What the fuck?

"Give her a lift, why don't you?", and I started to pout while Honey Lips guffawed. 

Husband swap anyone?  Please bear in mind that his latest word-craze is "Are you joking me?!"  You've been warned.

13 comments:

Magpie said...

Ha! I would have given him a dead arm! I don't have a hubby to swap with you, sorry! And even though you pout about him, I KNOW you love Honey Lips to pieces. You wouldn't swap him for the world!

Susie Q said...

Hahaha, that's so funny! Totally something I woulda done in his place! :D

I'd hubby-swap if I had a hubby.. Although you'd start missing HL eventually and steal him bag and then I'd be hubbyless.. :(

xx

Megan said...

oh goodness. Men can be full of themselves sometimes. Once at dinner our waitress accidentally dropped her pen into Chadd's lap and he thought she was flirting with him. We could trade hubby's but I don't think it would get us anywhere. hehe.

Lea and Gina said...

Haha, sounds like a typical man! He is the shizzle!
I'm with you, gold rims sound just gross.

Gnetch said...

Honey Lips is the shizzle.

And I will help you find someone you can hubby-swap with. Hahaha!

Amber said...

"Your blog is awesome," I remarked.

Jewels Diva® said...

Your hubs is a total nut job but he seems to suit you to a T!

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hahahaha. All guys can be like that, always full of themselves. lols... I still can't get over your post from yesterday about the "sensual massage" hehehehe

Johana Hill said...

You're right Magpie! I wouldn't swap him at all. ;p

Susie Q We need to find you a husband!

Megan Looks like Chadd is another Honey Lips! Any and every woman flirts with them! ;p

Lea and Gina I don't like gold rims even though I haven't seen one but I see it in my head and like you said, it IS gross!

Gnetch Ain't ya a sweetheart?! ;p

Thank you Amber

Hahaha you got that right Jewels

ChinkyGirlMel I'm still mortified from that last post. That was too graphic! *my cheeks are burning*

(always)alanna said...

aw haha- love this.
thanks for sharing your stories girl!
xx

S.I.F. said...

Stunts like that wuold probably get my husband hit - if I actually had a husband!

Nuke Girl said...

Ahahahaaaa, sounds familiar. I don't think you want to swap, my Hubby's lastest word-craze is "Yeah... I'm kind of a big deal." Dear God.

MKL said...

Lol, your Honey Lips is really funny. Does he blog, too? :P

The title could be "The Mars... ehm, ...sonian Husband" haha

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