Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Attitude Boy Says No To Birth Control And Safe Sex

Right now I'm staring at my screen, my mind in chaos.

Should I tell you about Attitude Boy and his baby mothers?  Or should I keep that story for next week?

Have I piqued your curiosity about Attitude Boy?  Yes?

His story is long and as you know, my posts are rather short. I like them short and simple. 

Anyway, since you insist, Attitude Boy is a man-child who just can't keep his dick in his pants.  Nothing new there huh?  All the men I came to know on Smaller Island use their penis more than their brain.

Attitude Boy has 2 baby mommas and he's only 20 years old! His mother is a whore (that's the word on the street) who after marrying a white dude, deserted AB and his sister.  Consequently, AB moved in with his mother-whore's best friend and impregnated MWBF's daughter.  After she delivered a pair of twins, her mother sent her to NY and kicked AB out of her house.

Then AB moved in with us.  Well we provided him with a roof over his head and helped him out for a few months.  Then I met AB's sister.  She is one helluva pretty woman.  Again, according to locals, she's no stranger to the horny male population.  First time I saw her, I was completely blown away by the sheer beauty of that girl.  Let's name her Pretty Woman.  Right.  So Pretty Woman is 19 years old and she gets paid to travel to exotic islands and fuck old, rich men.  I was dubious in the beginning because she seems like a nice girl to me.  And then her cousin confirmed the alleged rumors.

So back to Attitude Boy.  He, after his first baby mother relocated, started seeing another girl, who looks like a 14 year-old but is actually 18.  Honey Lips informed me about the pregnancy because, Attitude Boy is boasting to the boys in the area about his sexual prouesses to whoever cares to listen.  And believe me, many CARE enough to listen to what you have to say or don't have to say in Smaller Island.

Then yesterday I saw AB and his newly-pregnant woman-child girlfriend with her big belly, walking hand in hand.  I was in shock.  I mean hearing things and seeing things are two different things right? They stopped to say hi and AB was talking to my Honey Lips like he's a little boy! What the motherfuck?  I'm aware of his attitude problem but I thought he would at least be more respectful and all but hell to the no! His so-called gangster swagger infuriated me so much that I plainly ignored him until he left.

"Let him be", said Honey Lips when they left.

"Uh...", I mumbled.

"He thinks he's all that...", I added.

"You know me.  These things don't bother me.  What's my name?", asked HL.

I laughed.

"I know half of the people in this motherfucking island and the other half knows me..."

And that's how Honey Lips blows his own horn!

[Insert as many snickers as you can here]


Kanwalful said...

Woah. Attitude boy sure has a lot more going on than just plain attitude... Your stories always crack me up. OR maybe its just the way you tell them. =)

Lea and Gina said...

We are new followers! Love your blog! Sounds like AB needs a good ass kicking! We know alot of guys in our town like that.

Andhari said...

AB is so gross, visualizing him I just wanna kick his face or something.

Johana Hill said...

Kanwal I'm glad I make you laugh! ;p

Lea and Gina Thanks for following! Ab sure deserves some ass kicking! And a couple of punches!

Andhari Every time I see him I want to slap him. Real hard!

B. said...

Oh man... Gotta love boys like that. And by love I mean loathe. You crack me up.

Gnetch said...

Oh my goodness. That AB is totally a douche. And he's only 20?! Oh my, the world is doomed!

Magpie said...

He sounds like such a tard. And those poor kids. Seriously.


Anonymous said...

Oh AB!!! What a douche bag! hehe. I'm sure everyone knows at least one guy like this. Great story by the way. I love your writing style, I couldn't help follow!!!!

Kara said...

Oh, good lord! Why can't people use birth control!? Like Magpie said, I pity the kids more than anything else!

Johana Hill said...

Yes I pity the kids too! Imagine, their father is homeless and does not have a decent job. What will become of them? *sad*

Jewels Diva® said...

So clearly NO ONE knows what the hell birth control is, maybe they should all be neutered.

MKL said...

That island is a sex island, haha :P

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