"I'm hungry boy. Are you hungry?", Honey Lips asked me by rubbing his belly.
"Yes, I am", I answered.
"Let's go find something to eat then", he started walking towards the door, with me in tow.
It's Thursday night. Honey Lips and I are in the local club, sitting in the VIP area, with him nursing a work-in-progress headache. We just came back from the dance floor because the music was shitty and too loud. We're surrounded by a crowd of upper-class, stuck-up mortals and not too many of bourgeois wannabes. We fit in perfectly.
Anytime Honey Lips skips a meal, his skull hurts. (That's what he says.)
The kitchen is on the ground floor. Once there, we placed our order - Fish Burger, since there was no chicken. While we're enjoying our burgers, a group of girls came down and took the table set slightly opposite ours. One of the girls is a friend of Honey Lips and she is also The Sporadic Mistress of his friend. She came over to say hi to us and I could tell she was tipsy. She is very pretty. As in model-pretty.
So there we are, Honey Lips and I, eating our hearts out, when the ceiling starts leaking!
"What the hell?", Honey Lips grunted.
"Hey! The ceiling is leaking!", he pointed to the cracked patch a few feet away from our table. One of the staff promptly went to look for a bucket.
While Mr. Prompt Staff is still looking for that bucket, another patch starts leaking.
"Oh no we're getting out of here, come on love...", HL said.
So we take our burgers and move to stand next to The Sporadic Mistress' table.
"Oh no, that's the water from the toilet upstairs!", shouted one of the staff.
Fuck. Those are pissy leaks!
At the same time, The Sporadic Mistress grabs Honey Lips' right hand and takes a bite off his burger! Honey Lips looks at me and sees the murderous glint in my eyes. I look back at him and I see anger and frustration. He forces a grin and moves away from her.
What the fuck? That bitch didn't...oh no...Bitch you don't want me to rip your c**t, you mother-ass bitch!
"Oh that's good. What is it?", asked Sporadic Mistress, completely oblivious to the tension and the pissy water.
"Fish burger", HL mumbled. "How much is it? I need to get one!", she said.
"Don't say anything. Let it go Jo", whispered Honey Lips.
I put my burger down because I lost my appetite. Honey Lips put his down too. He couldn't eat his either. He loathes it when people reach for his food while he's eating. I try to breathe in and out, but I just couldn't mask my furious expression.
"It's useless saying anything to her. That's how they are. Just leave it", Honey Lips murmured.
Not where I come from! People don't behave like that. Heck I'd understand if she were your best friend. But she fucking ain't! Whore ass motherbitcher...!
By this time, the toilet water's escaping through the cracks. I'm still mulling over the situation - whether to disregard HL's advice and tell The Sporadic Mistress where she can shove it or let it go and haughtily walk out. And then I look down. Pissy water is everywhere!
I shrieked. Or howled. I don't even remember. All I wanted to do was to get out of there as quickly as I could. Honey Lips was having the same thoughts and he just grabbed my hand and,
"Let's go home. Enough of this shit."
I was too happy to oblige and followed him.
While we're rushing towards the exit another crack opens up and more pissy water's coming down. I started to run and splash! A few pissy drops hit my shoulder and my right hand. Yikey. I disgustingly held my right pissed-on arm as far away from my body as I could until I reached outside the club.
We are almost near the exit door when I see heavy drops of blood on the floor.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Even HL spotted the blood and asked one of the security guards what the hell happened. Apparently, one of the customers got hit on his head but everthing is under control now.
Heck no. My husband and I jumped in the car and drove back home as if the devil was chasing down our pissed-on tail.
"Oh fuck!", exclaimed Honey Lips.
"What now?", I asked.
"We forgot to pay for the burgers!"