Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It's Funny Now...

I know I keep saying I miss you guys. It's so true.  I'm spending less and less time reading blogs or writing posts because I'm drowned in immigration-related paperwork, medical tests, visits to my lawyer's office and other less significant tasks.  By the time I come home, my anger management issues rise to the forefront because before leaving the house in the mornings I don't make the bed.  I get rushed.  So yes, coming back home to an unmade bed, a laundry basket on the verge of exploding, and then socks and shoes scattered everywhere on the bedroom floor - that's not a pretty sight nor a mood lightener. 

Anyway, I have to tell you all something that happened to me - well, two somethings actually - on Friday night.  Honey Lips and I went to that Pissy Leaks Club. Remember? We went there because everything is back to normal (uh huh) and we thought of spending only a couple of hours in said club.

It was a hot night and I chose to wear a short black, strapless dress.  Sans bra.  I usually flat-ironed my hair when I go clubbing but that night, I didn't have the energy to straighten out my unruly hair.  With a few twists, I made a knot and let the ends sit on my left shoulder.  I was looking different and Honey Lips' libido kinda skyrocketed and he wouldn't stop groping me in the club.  For the first time, that irritated me.  After a few awkward maneouvres, I managed to make him stand in front of me, while I embraced him from the back.

"Stay here.  I'll be behind you this time.  And hug you...", I shouted at him.  I had to.  The music was loud.

The music picked up after a while and we were dancing like crazy people.  I slightly moved away from him so I could catch a breath or two when I felt this sudden rush of cold air in my bosom area.  Panicky, I looked down and OMG! there they were! My titsoruses proudly out for all to see! The shame ...you know how they say something about wishing the floor would open and swallow you up stuff? Yes, that! It was horrible.

Not quickly enough, I pulled my dress up and held tightly onto my unsuspecting husband and shamefully looked around to see if anyone saw me and my girls.  Unfortunately, I couldn't tell because it was too dark.  But then I heard the women dancing next to us chuckling.  Oh Sweet Dickens!

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Half an hour later, Honey Lips suggested we leave the dancefloor and go up in the VIP lounge.  I promptly nodded and followed him.  I didn't tell him anything...yet.  As soon as we stepped into the VIP section, we met a few friends of his, ones I've never met before.  So HL begun the necessary introductions.  I shook hands with them and smiled when one of the women pleasantly exclaimed, with my hand still in hers: "Oh your hand is so smooth!".

"Excuse me?", I said.

She turned to Honey Lips and said, "Her hands are very soft and smooth.  She doesn't work hard enough", and then she started to laugh!

 "Mine are soft and smooth too", Honey Lips breathed out, "and I work hard.  My wife doesn't need to work hard.  I love them soft and smooth by the way."

Old bitch!

I was in too good a mood to let her rattle my cage.  Honey Lips and I spent the rest of the night, by the bar, laughing like crazy people in love...with the sad titepisode, willingly pushed to the back of my mind...


Susie Q said...

Wahey! Git yer boobage out! We've all been there, done that. At least it wasn't on purpose. was it? ;)I think we all know how proud you are of your funbags!

Jewels Diva® said...


That's funny!!!!!!

Well girl, you gotta remember, when you wear no bra or panties, there's gonna be a flashing!


OfficeGirl said...

HL is a handfull isn't he? I love him!
This is why I dont go strapless..I am terrified of what happened to you actually happening to me.
Nothing like cold draft to open yer eyes!

Gnetch said...

OMG Johana! Haha! Good thing it was dark. ;)

And how dare that bitch say you're not working hard enough?

Bruno said...

1 Good luck for the paper work

2 LOL at the dress :P heureusement qu'il faisait noir

Anonymous said...

haha oh my.....
hilarious. At least it was in the dark, and since we've clarified you have great tits in previous posts, I bet anyone who saw them would have been either
A. jealous
B. sporting massive tent-pole in pants

I love your stories
p.s. good for you for not letting her ruin your mood

Anonymous said...

Thanks to Janet you can call it a wardrobe malfunction and it automatically becomes cool.

What an old tart. Who says that to someone while shaking their hand?

Kanwalful said...

You are such a jungli child. Lol. Jungli = wild.

MKL said...

Hey, I thought you won't go to that Piss Club again. Aiy, someone needs to get spanked now :P Ah, no need, you were punished already :P oh, sweet Dickens, hehe.

Carina the Blogarina said...

Oh no!! Johana the flasher! Haha

Skinny Dip said...

Oh no! That's happened to me at a club before too. I think that's why wearing strapless dresses always make me feel nervous!

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