"What's her fucking problem?" I muttered to myself when I see her message on Honey Lips' Facebook wall. "Ain't she got nothing better to do?"
I reached home, tired. A shower later, I was in bed, with the laptop on, checking out Facebook for the latest "news". I usually look up Honey Lips profile page just to see what he's been up to. And what with Facebook new you-can-now-see-what-the-other-has-written-on-x-wall-feature, you can't hide. (Thank you Mark! Or, whoever you stole the idea from!)
Anydamnway, there's this self-proclaimed classy bitch who, I believe, is just a bloody pain in the arse. In my arse, to be precise.
"Hi babes! Wassup?", Honey Lips answered my call with enthusiasm. My heart flipped.
I'm going to burst your bubble mister. That's what's up!
And out loud came, "What the fuck is wrong with that friend of yours?". I gritted my teeth. "Why she keeps like-ing every damn thing you post on Facebook?"
"What?!", Honey Lips bemusedly exclaimed.
"Fucking Miss I-Shit-Gold, that's who!", I impatiently explained.
"Oh God Johanna, not Facebook again! How many times will I tell you Miss I-Shit-Gold and I are good friends. Nothing more!" His bubble is well burst up now.
I harrumphed. "No shit. Then why she's acting like she your damn wife? Bloody disrespecting me on Facebook and you ain't saying nothin'! What's with all the lovey-dovey messages?"
"Johana! Johana! Johana! Stop!", HL shouted.
"Why? Tell I-Shit-Gold to stop!", I interrupted.
"For fuck sake -", he cut the call.
HE BLOODY HANG UP!
Oh no, you didn't. Hell no!
"Lover Boo, you there?" I typed on GTalk. You remember her, right? :p
"Yes! How are you?, LB replied.
"I'm so fucking pissed!" And I went on spilling my woes to Lover Boo.
"Ignore her!", LB typed.
"No fucking way. Saying i love you hun, miss you hun on my husband's wall? You're crazy. I'm gon write something on her post. Bloody bitch!"
I tried to control my anger and after a few, deep breaths, I decided I'd act like a lady and try to be nice and see if Miss I-Shit-Gold follows my lead.
Whadayyano? I-Shit-Gold insulted me. Again. Doesn't she know Honey Lips is married? She should 'cause his relationship status clearly indicates he's bloody taken.
Honey Lips reached home. Saw the comments exchange between Miss I-Shit-Gold and I and he deleted them. Called me and said, "I don't want no drama on my wall. She's just a friend and there's nothing more going on between us. Fucking shit gotta stop."
"Hell yes! Shit gotta stop and if you ain't stopping it I bloody will", I retorted. "How would you like it if a guy friend of mine keeps posting on my Facebook wall, "I love you" and bloody blah blah? And I tried to be nice but she just wouldn't take the hint!"
Over the following days, she kept posting crap on Honey Lips' wall. Both Honey Lips and I ignored her. Then all hell broke loose when Honey Lips tagged me in a YouTube clip.
MISG commented, "You've forgotten all about me!" Her stalking became worse after that. She'd especially post something just after I did.
And then Honey Lips realised that indeed MISG is a fucking jealous trollop! Hallelujah! But the more you provoke HL, the more he'll ignore you. It's infuriating but he gotta do something! Right? No. He didn't. And MISG continues on with her 'live life good' mantra. From time to time, she would mention how she and HL have been friends for more than 20-something years and that their friendship is a forever thing. Nobody will stop her showing love to her friends.
Lover Boo intervened with a goaded comment one day and MISG had the guts to insult her too!
Did I mention that Lover Boo and Honey Lips are real tight buddies? No? Well, they are. MISG may have known HL for a long time but they haven't seen or met each other in eons. Not that it really means anything in friendship but MISG is overplaying the we-are-old-friends factor. I let her know that I'm glad she's an old friend of my husband but stay in your boundaries, will ya? She says she won't! And fed me crap like, she's a free-spirited soul, who believes in showing love to her friends and yaddi yadda...not to mention that she's a lady of class and her lineage is out of this world. (Insert eye rolls here please. Thank you!) She presumes that her public affection to a married man, albeit a friend, is not disrespectful at all. Say what?!
Her last comment on HL's wall left me staggering. Why should I keep on feeding her already-massive ego? Like Lover Boo said, the more I react to MISG's BS, the more she'll try to whip out non-existent demons.
Ain't no one gon fuck my love story! I'm the leading lady. Heck! I'm the ONLY lady.
End of discussion.
Merry Christmas to you too!
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3 comments:
What. A. Crazy.
I'm in the ignore-her camp. If you act threatened she'll know that you see her as a threat, which means she's competition. And that'll thrill her no end!
Tell Mushroom Face that FB is not properly equipped for husband stealers and her attention-seeking tricks just make me smile...
If I was him, I would delete and block that tramp right away. That's no friendship, she's a stalker. Saying "I love you" is clearly not something just a friend would say. It's not fair to you, that he keeps in touch with her.
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