I'm A Very Busy Woman...

This post is all about updates.  

Remember Main Squeeze?  I haven't heard from her in a long while.  The last time I saw her was when she brought her dad over to introduce him to Honey Lips and I.  That was in March, if my memory serves me right.  I've met The Pimp last week.  Saw him a couple of times before and always alone or in the company of friends.  Is he still with Main Squeeze? I'm not sure.

Treadmill Mouth went underground for a good portion of the last 2 months.  He then re-appeared 3 weeks ago.  I think he was hiding away, out of shame.  Because almost everyone caught him out on his gossip-y habits.  Honey Lips conveniently turns his head away or just leaves when Treadmill Mouth is around.  HL doesn't want to be associated with the likes of TM.

Attitude Boy became the father of a little girl last month.  His first baby mother and the twins are still in NY.  His attitude still sucks.  Pretty Woman went to the US and in her first week in the states, she already started applying for modelling jobs.  Facebook says she's reaching places.  I wish her all the best.

Flat Face and Horny Pants haven't left each other's bed as of yet.  God bless them.

Lover Boo is still pining for Virgin Boo.  Lover Boo wastes spends her time analyzing the unjustices of unrequited love while Virgin Boo is doing her best to keep things platonic.  It's no use talking to either one of them.

Stupid Girl should have been named Sucker Girl.  A couple of weeks ago, I caught her (not exactly caught her since she doesn't bother hiding the nasty habit) sucking her thumb! She sits on her balcony, sucking her thumb! Well good for her.  At least she's practising something! Sucking skills are very important if you want to succeed in life, right?  You don't know?  Ask Stupid Girl's mum.  I met her for the first time last week and I would be so right in believing that she condones her daughter's lifestyle.  As a matter of fact, SG's whole family knows of her affair with High Cock.  Talk about family support!

Anyway, let's get to the good news.

Honey Lips is still trying to be funny and cracking jokes left, right and center while The Mercurial Wife is being a bitch.  As always.


Side Note: Why are you skimming? Go click on the links and read the stories if you haven't already! There's a good girl. ;p

Names Explained

Busy, busy, busy!

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!

Hot, hot, hot!

Now merge those 3 together you get hell, hell, hell.

That's where I've been for the past 2 weeks.  Hell!

Anyway someone asked me why did I name Stupid Girl Stupid Girl and High Cock High Cock.  I know many of you are curious and wonder why do I refer to the people I blog about with crazy names.  Well ain't it your lucky day today!  I'm going to tell you why.

Honey Lips - My husband who drives me crazy with his soft and sweet lips.  I can spend everyday in bed with his lips kissing every inch of my skin.

Classy Woman - a good friend who loathes bad-mannered people.  She would swallow a fart even if her life depends on her not swallowing it.

High Cock - a rich guy who drives more than one car, has more than one house, has more than one mistress put up in rented accommodation, and has a heart of gold.  And his wife is one of the prettiest, smart women on the island.  Life sucks, eh?

Lover Boo - my lesbian friend whom you wish were a man. Whom you wish were your man.  When she loves, she gives her all.  That's one chick who'll really travel to the end of the world for you.  She's a classic example of love-makes-you-go-blind theory. 

Virgin Boo - the love of Lover Boo.  She is a virgin in every sense.  Nuff said.

Stupid Girl - one of the mistresses of High Cock, she has had sexual intercourse from an early age and believes she's too much of a mature woman to mingle with the high-schoolers and hence dropped out.  She parties every night and sleeps during the day.  Sugar daddies come and go, true, but when shit goes sour, then what? No GCSE, no diplomas, no degrees.  No education.  Even hookers know the importance of education.

Treadmill Mouth, Main Squeeze, The Pimp, Manly Man and Slutty Girl - the names say it all!

I'm all ears now! ;p

The Pimp And His Main Squeeze

First of all, let me apologise for the previous post.  I wrote it last night and this morning I woke up with guilt and shame, thinking of what you all must be thinking of me. 

Sike!

I woke up just fine.  LOL.  I'm glad I'm putting my business out there.  But I thought at least one of you would come up and say, "Me too!"

So you've read the title and you must have said out loud, 'What now?'

Well this post is about The Pimp (Honey Lips's chum) and his Main Squeeze.  The Pimp is an alright guy, he's very good to me and is ready to defend my honor when bitches run their mouth.  Main Squeeze is a very nice woman, in her early 20s and extremely cautious when it comes to let a male into her heart.  Despite her misgivings, she fell for The Pimp.  They are going quite strong and The Pimp is serious about her.  Everything is fine in Mushy Land until last week when Honey Lips imparted a secret to my delicate ears. 

Apparently, The Pimp is a sleep-around type of guy.  He fancies anything with big boobies on a pair of legs, attached to a pair of butt cheeks and feels he must whip the Johnson out and into the Moist Haven at least once.   It's obvious he's madly in love with Main Squeeze but his roving eyes keep roving.

Over the last few weeks, Main Squeeze and I became good friends.  Every time she confides in me, my brain gets whacked up by guilt.  They have been fighting practically every day since Main Squeeze's been hearing stories.  Stories like "Your man is a man-whore", or "He sleeps around" or "Bitch I'll kill you if you don't stop seeing my man", etc.

The island we live on is pretty small and everyone knows almost everybody.  Any time you set foot out of your house, somebody will know and will pass on the information to someone.  After all, it's a big deal if you're drinking a beer and talking to a woman/man during the day when you're supposed to be doing something else.

So when I heard of The Pimp's notorious ways from Honey Lips - a trusted source since they hang out almost everyday -, my respect for The Pimp kinda plummeted.  If I didn't know Main Squeeze at all, I would have cared less or none at all.  But since she's a good friend of mine, I can't really be honest to her and that's worth losing sleep over.  On the other hand, if I say anything to her, everybody loses in one way or the other. (Plus HL strictly warned me not to get involved and never to get involved in other couples' relationships.) But I truly believe The Pimp really, really loves her. 

What I can't comprehend is why should one betray the ones one loves?  Why can't we fully respect each other?  For how long will he fuck around?  What happens when or if Main Squeeze finds out?  Will I lose another friend? Should I keep my distance from her?  Because I can't and won't say anything to her.  And that makes me feel like an asshole.

Go ahead.  Judge me.