Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Every time Honey Lips and I plan on having sex (due to his hectic schedule, we gotta plan!), we fall asleep on each other; sometimes during foreplay! Now you must be saying: "Well, I understand Honey Lips works hard, so he can be excused but what about you? Why do you fall asleep?".

Don't worry, my crystal ball doesn't reveal pertinent secrets, only the obvious ones.  Plus, I ask myself the same question.  I don't do any manual work (remember the old bitch who said my hands are smooth? Yea...there you go...).  As soon as I lie down in bed, my eyes start feeling heavy and before I know it, I'm nodding off like a baby.  What's the reason? I don't have a scooby.

Very often, we catch up in the mornings, all the while discussing who fell asleep the first the previous night. And we always blame each other.  And then after sex, I get bitchy.  It's like the sexual climax releases hatred into my weak system and I bitch like a bitch.  I make noise at everything.  For that too, I got no explanation.

And why the hell am I telling you all this?

Just wanna bitch, that's all.



Danaconda said...

I can't wait to get married!

"It's like the sexual climax releases hatred into my weak system and I bitch like a bitch." - Hysterical.

Johana Hill said...

Danaconda Before you get married make sure you draft a few rules! They'll come handy, believe me. ;p

Palwasha N. Minhas said...

"Choose your words carefully. Anything you say might be thrown back at you. I'm just joking. I do care about what you think. Negative and positive feedback are much welcome. And of course spammers are stupid."

Everytime I read this I just couldn't help myself and laugh like crazies !! lol You are amazing ! No matter how much you bitch. lol

the girl in stiletto said...

i love reading bitchy stories if this is bitchiness all about. haha!

Carina the Blogarina said...

It's good to have a place to rant isn't it? Lol.. I think that happens in all relationships thought... that all of a sudden sleep is more tempting than sex. Need to work on that, I thought that wasn't suppose to happens until parenthood! Major let down!

Johana Hill said...

Palwasha Thank you love! I try to be amazing. LOL

the girl in stiletto You've come to the right place! hehehe

Carina Imagine what will happen if we do have kids?! I told Honey Lips the other day that we're like a couple in their 80's..ha!

Livin' La Vida LOLA~! said...

Im glad i read this, your not the only one, cant say its happend much but on a few occasions i can relate.
And i agree that rules should be drafted before the marriage. I missed that part, or i chose to ignore it, however i tried to draft up some cleaning rules and oh boy did that back fire on me!
I love reading your blog Johana, It reminds me there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. LOL and then i feel much better im not the only one.

twoloversontherun said...

if you have to plan when you're going to have sex, drink a red bull about 30 minutes ahead of time! not only will you stay awake, but you might even resemble rabbits! (:

Jewels Diva® said...

Sometimes I envy you. You have sex alot and damnit I'm not! Who cares if you fall asleep during foreplay at least you get some.

You're not using a vibrator during the day when he's not there are you *nudge nudge,wink wink* ;) that's why you're so tired.

MKL said...

I'd like to see you elaborate on that "falling asleep during foreplay" thing. Scared me a bit, you know. I don't want you to choke on anything while dozing off, hun :P

Johana Hill said...

Hahaha MKL! I'm not going to choke on anything since I can't fall asleep with anything in my mouth! LMAO

MKL said...

Thank God, what a relief. I can sleep peacefully now ;)

Gnetch said...

Ahaha. This is what I love about your blog! You don't beat around the bush. :)

Kanwalful said...

Hello crazy bitch. I love you. Good bye.

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

I can't imagine how anyone can fall asleep during foreplay. Lol! You and HoneyLips are a riot! hehehehe. And you are so awesome for sharing this with all of us. I love your crazy stories, it definitely leaves me smiling after every post. Have a great weekend!

bard said...

One possible solution: Don't have sex in bed. Do it on the kitchen table, in the garage... anywhere you can't easily fall asleep!

Johana Hill said...

ChinkyGirlMeL It happened on many occasions! LOL

bard As soon as we get our privacy back, Honey Lips and I will do it everywhere! ;p

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