She discovered, quite accidentally, with a little help from me, that she prefers women to men. Meet Lover Boo, who's in her late 20s, independent, has a full-time job and everything else a woman her age wants and needs.
She broke up with her fiance because bi-curiosity was not just a thought but a possibility and at arm's reach. Meet Virgin Boo, in her mid 20s, caught up between divorced parents, has a full-time job and was almost going to marry a guy who goes out of his way to show his love for her.
Then they met. Lover Boo, with her constant need to be loved, and Virgin Boo, untouched so far. They fell in love. They broke up with their respective boyfriends and started seeing each other. One blissful year and some of hot, steamy sex, heart-to-heart conversations, perfect dates, joyous celebrations and almost drama-free quality time, things can only get better, right? Not in their case. To be more precise, not in Virgin Boo's case.
Virgin Boo is now having second thoughts. She no longer thinks that she's cut out for a cock-free life. Not that she wants any cock either. Her stress over family issues gave way to her insecurities. Blowing hot and cold seems her only way to hide her anxieties. Lover Boo is blaming herself because she thinks she's not loving Virgin Boo enough. So starts her quest to prove to Virgin Boo how much she loves her. But it's not working.
Virgin Boo claims that she needs time and space. Lover Boo agrees. She backs off. Weeks gone by, Lover Boo tries to talk to Virgin Boo. VB clams up and won't say a word. Now they just exchange gloomy looks across their office desks (they work for the same company). Lover Boo is desperate and on the verge of becoming suicidal. Virgin Boo won't talk.
From lovers to strangers in the space of a few months...
Now I ask you my beautiful readers, what should Lover Boo do? Cut her losses and move on? Or keep waiting...?
P.S: I'm not Lover Boo. She's a close friend of mine and my heart breaks for her. I've listened to her rants and offered a few encouraging words here and there. But I believe I'm not doing enough. Help please!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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11 comments:
Sorry to sound harsh, but Lover Boo needs to GTFO. She doesn't need the drama of someone struggling with their sexuality, and Virgin Boo needs to realize what she has right in front of her!!
The fact that VB doesn't seem to care anymore, LB needs to move on. I think, based on your story, LB is a good person so she deserves someone who will appreciate her.
Oh no! Poor LB. This is so difficult because of the pressures that society (read: VB's family/friends) put on individuals who choose to lead 'alternate' lifestyles.
I have talked to many women in the same exact situation, and a few men as well. It is heartwrenching to be in love with someone who feels extreme pressure to not love you back. Unfortunately I don't have much advice except for LB to listen to her head and not her heart for a few minutes in this situation. It might lead her to a more logical conclusion.
And then she can start following the advice of her Moist Haven when having the obligatory but oh-so-fun rebound sex....
VB is a selfish twat. If you're going to be in a relationship with somebody and then have second thought, have the goddamn decency to talk about it.
My 2c? VB doesn't deserve LB. LB should rock on with her bad self and find some other hot girl with a nice rack to take her mind off things. ;)
Things happen for a reason. Firm believer in this. It may hurt now, but something good will come from this.
Seems like they are both hurting! But LB need to think of herself and move on. If VB comes to realize she has made a mistake she can contact LB and see if she is still available. Life is long and you never know what can happen in the future! But LB can't continue to be a doormat.
They should do whatever they feel like, I've no opinion on that. Sex or break up, each is fine to me :) Jo, don't blame yourself, you can't really help here.
VB is confused. And LB should never wait around for anyone - man or woman.
LB should move on, definitely. Obviously it's going to be rough but I think that it's something that she needs to do. That doesn't mean that she has to try and start a new relationship but she should probably try to keep herself occupied doing the things she loves to do.
My heart hurts hearing this, too, but I think the only thing to do is give space with the intention of moving on. :-(
Aww...that story breaks my heart too.
I think this is a classic example of Lover Boo having to move on. Pushing is not going to bring Virgin Boo closer, as much as she may think it will. It never does. It's out of her control right now. If she loves Virgin Boo, she needs to set her free. That's the only way she may come back.
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