Saturday, May 22, 2010

I Spoke Too Soon But Haiku? Should Work.

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Have you read Magpie's I've Felt Better post? Well you better click on that link.  Anyway check out the comment I left on that post:


I got my wish! And I want to take it back!

I'm not going into details about my menstrual discomfort but good lord! it feels like there are 10 angry, macho footballers in my lower-belly, kicking the hell out!

So I jumped in bed, stayed there for almost 7 hours! And then I came upon a series of Haiku from the same book I got the Dirty Verses.  It's quite a long list (I've already watched that episode of NCIS - where Abby gets stalked!) so it's alright.  Now up to you to read till the end and laugh out loud! ;p

Let's start typing!

Apparently Sony's new portable PC comes complete with Haiku error messages designed to be more soothing to the frustrated Windows user.  For example:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You seek a Web site.
It cannot be located.
Countless more exist.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Chaos reigns within.
Stop, reflect and reboot.
Order shall return.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Aborted effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies.
So beautifully.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 With searching comes loss.
The presence of absence.
"June Sales.doc" not found.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao
Until you bring fresh toner.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Windows NT crashed.
The Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Three things are certain.
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 You step in the stream
But the water has moved on.
Page not found.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky.
But we never will.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Having been erased,
The document you are seeking 
Must now be retyped.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen.  Mind.  Both are blank.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
HAPPY WEEKEND! ;p

13 comments:

Gnetch said...

OMG. When I get menstrual cramps, it always feel like that and I can't get out of bed. 10 angry macho footballers-- best description ever! Feel better! ;)

Jordan said...

ahh cramps. they SUCK. and there is no way of avoiding them. best part of the month heh? :/

I hope your weekend gets better!

Andhari said...

Love these, such a perfect distraction when you're cramping with angry footballers in your lower belly..my cramps are awful too during that time of the month. People avoid me. Lol

the girl in stiletto said...

HAHAHAHAHA. Luckily you still can write when you get 10 footballers stomping around. I usually just go into self-induced coma when that happens. coma rarely happen these days simply because i can no longer skip work.

fuck off, work!

Nuke Girl said...

Hope you feel better! Love the Haikus. :)

MKL said...

Hey, Jo! Get better soon, I think your haiku's will become more positive, too, hehe. Seriously, take good care of yourself, girl :)

Kanwalful said...

Ouch! Your cramps sound insanely insane. Thankfully mine aren't so retarded. Feel better soon my pumpkin.

Magpie said...

Awww thanks for linking me! I feel a little bit special!

And I want those haikus! They would make me smile! I hope you feel better soon. I know how that feels. POP THE NUROFEN!

Susie Q said...

Wow.. Just to rub it in, I get mine less than every two months and even then they're not that painful... *HA-HA* (if you're not trying to get a ickle one, get the implant. Seriously good stuff that is!)

No, but on a more serious note, hope you're feeling better.. I remember my times of great pain and it wasn't fun!

xx

Lady Mel said...

menstrual cramps.... =/.....why dont men have them too?

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

This is full of win. :P

Saumya said...

I almost always give myself the day off when I cramp. They don't even go away with Aleve and a heating pad! I can't concentrate on anything...argh. And YAY for those haikus!

Snafugirl said...

I have tried to read your blog about half a dozen times from work over the past week. For some reason it keeps crashing my work computer haha. So now I'm reading it from home. Who knew there were so many computer related Haikus? I could have used those when mine didn't want me to read your blog!

Hope you're feeling better.

PS- I'm in the middle of a cliff hanger series post, but the next installment will be related to what you requested me to write about ;)

Danaconda said...

Periods must suck
Two weeks is a lot of blood
Best eat some ice cream

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